Good conversation is something I think I might be addicted to in that I totally enjoy when it is happening around me. Sometimes I have the urge to join in, other times I am totally content listening to it flow around me. At times I am shocked when I grow a set and toss an idea out there for the world to hear and talk about. It is part of my shy nature and unsure self to feel nervous about that act but doing it more often help build a bridge over the valleys.
Last night we had a lovely P.U.R.R.S. gathering at a pool hall. With life happening we haven’t been able to just hang out with our group, so it was nice to have a relaxing, fun evening. We talked about a good verity of topics from what do you like to be called as a Domme to what events we were looking forward to in the upcoming months.
Being new to topping/Domme, I find myself stumbling around attempting to figure out what I enjoy and what gives me my top cookie. I cannot figure out what as a Domme I want be called. Call me ma’am and I’m wanting to shove my foot so far up their asses to make sure they never call me that again. Miss or Mistress just doesn’t sit well with me either for some reason. In writing I can stand being called Lady, but I heard it once; maybe it was the way the person said it, but I still didn’t really enjoy it like I thought I would. What’s in a name, anyway? I’m thinking my next attempt will be “Miss Top Bitch.” That does give me a slight buzz thinking about.
I can recall many times in public kink events and munches where my face has gone blank when asked “well, what kinks are you into?” I’ve been trying on and off for a while now to figure out what is an acceptable answer to that question. While at the dungeon I fell into a conversation about this topic between two lovely peoples. The lady of the conversation went and said exactly what I was searching for, an answer that makes sense. To the gentleman she said, “when you asked me about what I enjoy kink wise, it’s hard because it is not what someone is doing to me, it’s the connection we have together.”
That is the reason I play, the connection and the “dance” as I like to think of it. I love floggers, but not as much as I enjoy and love the connection they give with the person that is using them.
