I know there are 2 things I say a lot. 1. My friends are the best ever, they are so great. And 2. My Sir is so really cool and amazing. Part of it is He really is a great guy who some days doesn’t know how great He is, the other part is I’ve been with real assholes that have fucked me over in almost every way a guy can fuck one over. So knowing what I don’t want makes me thankful for finding a good part of what I want. The rest is just working it out and communication. I’m sure at this point with as much as I feel the need to reach out to Him and attempt to explain my feelings and wanting to hear about His, He should be close to sick of the concept. Lol.
Moving on, I was very sick yesterday. I was sicker then the damn dog. Stumbling around, crying, blowing my nose and puking my lungs out. Sir was kind enough to offer to come by, I almost rejected it. But one of my many issues is even though I know nobody can physically make me feel better from a cold I still don’t want to be alone for that long. I think my biggest problem yesterday day was my mental state of being so scared and upset from the pain that it made everything 10 times worse. I thought for sure I was dying. Also the mental beating of having my body yet again get sick made it hard for me to hold it together. Makes me thankful Sir came over. My favorite part was when He called to tell me He was here, I have a locked building. I dragged my unsteady ass out of bed, tossed on a huge fuzzy blue robe. My hair was a mess and I’m sure my skin color wasn’t great. First thing He says: “You look like shit.”
That made my day, I knew I looked like shit but at least He didn’t blow smoke up my ass and say I look like a bed of roses. I enjoyed that brutal honest comment. Almost turned me on. Speaking of, turns out when I’m sick like I was/am I’m extra sensitive, and not in a good way if I’m with a sadistic top. Oh wait I was with a sadistic top. Yeah, I crack my self up.
With the snuggles and pets I felt a bit better mentally. A short nap and I went off to work. Yeah that sucked cause by the end of work I realized I hadn’t been eating that much. Twice I felt my blood sugar take two big drops. It wasn’t that I didn’t have food, it wasn’t that I didn’t cook the food for myself. It was that I had to force myself to even eat half of it. So body already weak from cold became added to from the lack of will to want to eat. I k now I’ve most likely eaten enough by the health care standards. But just.
Tonight, Sir is going to stop by with Chinese food. My stomach is fine, it just doesn’t want to work or tell my brain that I’m hungry. Silly creature. So I shall be partaking in Forced Chinese food tonight. Maybe I’ll add that to my list of fun on my site. Should be funny if nothing else.
Did I mention my friends are great? They make even the most embarrassing or crappy things funny. I am feeling a lot better today. Mentally I’m more relaxed, physically I feel my body getting better. I’m hurting in different ways, but over all I don’t feel like I’m dying anymore. I have convinced myself that I shall be better by tomorrow night. It shall be as I’ve said it.
I hopes everyone stays healthy, take it from me, it really bites to be sick.
~Raven~
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