Today, while driving to Sir's house from paying some of my bills, I started to think. Yes, warning: Raven was thinking. Then after I had my little tiff tonight I was thinking yet again. Two or three subjects that are tied together. First being the past and second being age. I am younger, not to brag but to state the facts of life. I do not have as much life experience as others out there. But I'm growing and learning, best of all I'm exploring. It's fun, it's painful, it's different, it's new, it's old. All those things and more;life.
Most to all of my friends are older then me. Be it a month or 20 years. It's just the way things are in my life. I don't really have a high tolerance for those that act like they are 12 years old. Now, I can act like I'm 12 all I want. LOL, just kidding. I'd like to think most of the time I act decent. (That's based on my and my friend's opinions). I started to wonder things having to do with age. I would go into detail, but it's a bit late right now and I'll write them when I have a clear idea. But I know that Sir is content with it. Yes, I'm sure I drive Him nuts once and a while acting foolish. But for the most part He likes me for me.
That brings me to the thought of my past, His past, our ex's. My one ex above the others, but they're still guilty, have shoved away my past. They were all about themselves in the now. They refused to talk about their past. No clear past and no clear future.
I'm not saying one should live in their past, I'm more along the lines of accepting where we came from and who we were to allow us to move on and grow. I don't want to live in the past. My family tends to do that, they remind me of my mistakes. Maybe in hopes that I don't repeat them. It's just they don't know that it's a pain to have someone poke and poke and poke at the nasty parts. I liked to think I've learned from my past, that I won't repeat my mistakes, and that I am better for living through what I've gone through. Like everyone else out there. . .okay most everyone. Not everyone is about learning, growing, and exploring. But I can be happy and put my rosie colored glasses for this ONE thing.
I did brat out tonight with Sir for a moment, and not in a good way. I have this problem, I could not give two shits about the 50 different ways to do one thing on computers. I cannot speak computers, so going into things I know that in this area Sir and I are on two different levels. He knows computers so well, I admire this about Him. It turns me on really. I've avoid it thus far. But I wanted to explore a new computer program and needed His help. One thing I didn't do was explain to Sir that I get frustrated with things and want to do things ONE way, I don't want to have to learn all the ways to do one thing. I also didn't tell Him that I had spent a few hours the previous day tried to remember how He showed me how to do the task.
If I would've just communicate that I wouldn't have gone to brat mode. And if Sir would've listened to my attempts instead of trying to keep showing me different ways to do things, we both would've been much better and not seen my bratty side.
Just an example of how if one tries to communicate it DOES work and saves one a head ache.
Hope ya all are keeping safe, with this wild weather around the country.
~Raven~
No comments:
Post a Comment