Thoughtz

Sometimes, there are guys out there I think I like at first glance. Even at third and forth glances. I know I shouldn’t really expect everyone I meet to start a friendship with that it’ll work out for year and years to come. That’s not really realistic. But when it comes to some people, after the first period of “hey you’re someone new in my life“, they tend to go in a downward spiral. For many reasons, but mostly I’d say because they aren’t ready. There are many forms of ready and many forms of relationships.

I used to go around longing to be in a relationship like I seen and read about from various places. One day I finally looked at myself, my place I was at in life, and the light bulb over my head went off. Even if some how this perfect relationship landed in my lap, I’d still not be ready for it. At that point, things became slightly easier to be single until I came to a point where I was more ready for a relationship or more friendships.

I’ve come up with a few different things I find important. Be it with friends or relationships. I would label these things “things to know to date Raven, and survive.” But my Sir suggested just to call it “things to know in order to date Rave.” In any case, these things came about for different reasons. Mostly, just the number of people who have just been clueless. Clueless is the nicest word I can think of that describes most of them. I’m not so hard to deal with as a person, at least I think that way. So I will simply call this "what it takes to not drive me crazy."


No real order but I’ll start with communication. You have to be able to communicate with me and be able to put up with my communication skill level. I am always trying to improve that skill set, but until it’s any better then it is now, please be able to deal with what it is.

Be open with your thoughts and be able to listen to mine. It takes me forever to start to trust someone with my deeper thoughts. I’m always doubting if I make any sense or if I’m saying something wrong. I don’t really go around wanting to hurt people’s feelings. Honest, that’s just not my style or desire. But give me the time it takes to share with you my ideas, wants, and needs. I might need to explain it a few different ways, that doesn’t bother me. But don’t be a brick wall that doesn’t listen.

Be creative. If there is a problem, don’t ask me how to solve it for you. Ask to work through a problem with me. If I have a problem, don’t talk at me. Listen and help me figure things out on my own or with your help.

Walk beside me, not ahead or behind me. I don’t want to be with someone who is forever worshipping the ground I walk on or is forever demanding I worship the ground they walk on. I will worship, love and adore you for the person you are in my own humble ways. That doesn’t mean I think I am less of a person or more of a person then you are. I don’t want to walk this world alone with nobody in site.

Have your own life, dreams, goals, passions. Do not let me push you around or demand you give something up for me. A relationship is about compromise. I will bend and bend and bend if I have that urge. And maybe sometimes you’ll have to bend and bend and bend. But that doesn’t mean we won’t snap back to where we were. We have our lives, dreams, goals, and passions. Sure we can share some together. That doesn’t mean we have to share everything.

When I want alone time, when I want time with a female, when I want time with a male, ect, Let me have it. There are times when I don’t want anything to do with anyone. Be it for 10 minutes or 10 days. Just let me collect myself. Balance myself. Find what the hell I am looking for during those periods. Know I am not intentally ignoring you, I am searching for something, most likely inside of me, and I either don’t need or you can’t help me. There are some things that you cannot provide me. Accept this but don’t think it means I don’t need you in my life.

Be able to laugh, at the world, at yourself, at me. Just be able to let that joy of laughing out whenever you see fit. Like others have said in different referances and styles: what happens at that time is what’s meant to happen. We cannot plan every moment, we can go with the flow, laugh and live in the moment.

Know that I don’t live for tomorrow and what might happen. I do that to an extent, but I learned from my past. I planned and worried about things and I forgot to live in the moment. To enjoy the time I spent with the people I loved in the past. I was so worried about what our relationships might be that I lost them totally. I live each day as it is, and I don’t worry about what my relationships might turn into. Sure pruning and keeping an eye on things is important. But living for what might be in 10 years from now seems foolish to me.

It’s the journey that matters to me.

This is more then enough for right now. I’m sure as time goes on I’ll be able to clean it up and add/subtract from it as I see fit.

~Raven~