Taboo Mix and Match

I have this urge to talk about kitty play and myself. I never had anyone to share this part of me until recently. It was my limited understanding of the kink world that took me so long to find kitty play. As well as my want to keep my life in neat little boxes. I am a pagan, I can’t insult others or it was too taboo to mix pagan with any other area of my life. I thought the boxes would keep my life balanced. I have to be well centered and balanced in order to move forward. My foolish thought was being balanced all the time was the goal. It’s not, being as balanced as one can be and rolling with the flow of life is one of my goals, and I believe it’s one of the less foolish goals. A few months ago I thought to maybe it’d be okay to mix my faith/religion/whatever you want to call it and my kinky life. I was shocked at how many pagans were into the lifestyle and the groups that I found on fetlife. I have yet to take steps to doing that more then here and there things. I’m reading more books on kink and pagans, looking at and for more websites. I’ve become more comfortable with the idea of mixing areas of my life.

I love rope, I believe I sang that from the mountain tops at one point. I know the rope community is vast and I have not even started to tap into it or spread my wings into the community. I’m a bit too awkward for that at this moment. But I never knew that kitty play existed, and then I never knew that it’d be OK to be into both kitty play and rope. I went to the kitty play party at Shibaricon and had a blast. I went deeper into kitty space then I ever had before on my own. I didn’t feel awkward or out of place. I felt so good and warm and fuzzy. I am learning that it’s okay to drop my walls, to mix and match to what feels right to me. I totally enjoy kitty play with my rope and other areas of life I enjoy. I wonder if what I’m doing is taboo, part of me thinks it’s not but at the same time everything I do can be considered taboo from someone else’s point of view.

More about kitty play. This morning, I woke up and did a few little things and then went back to bed. Woke up a few hours later and Sir greeted me with a hug. He had said I went back to bed, He checked on me twice. Part of me knew He checked on me, when I woke up at one point I saw the bedroom door closed. I know that means He’s been there, looked at me sleeping and closed the door to keep the sound of typing out of the bedroom. Okay so that is something that makes my heart melt, to have Him and my friends check on me every once and a while. Not because it’s a hassle but because they care about me. So I smiled and kissed Him, enjoyed Him holding me for a few moments. Then I got some food and did some more mundane things that you do while waking up. He came over after a while and rubbed my back, touched me and I instantly clicked into kitty space. My kitty side was purring and so damn happy to get this moment of lovely pettings and attentions. I meows, purred and rubbed my paws against His lovely skin. It was a purrrrrrrfect moment.

I’m learning that I am kitty more often and it’s enjoyable for me to let go and open up that part of me. As well as since I can’t have a whole big kinky amazing scene at this moment due to medical issues, I am so enjoying these little scenes. Hopefully this lesson will stick with me and I will be able to not be so apprehensive about going into a scene. I know my outlook for the last few months has been this big grand idea of rope and lovely scenes and I’ve always backed away from doing them on days when I was tired or just didn’t think I could finish a scene. Now I enjoy short little “scenes” and know that it’s not how long a scene is that makes it a lovely, amazing.

~Raven~